If I only knew then what I know now, I could have saved myself from so much pain. I was so desperate for love that I gave myself totally to a man who said he love me. Hearing him tell me he loved me blew my mind. I couldn’t see past the words “I love you”. He had relationships with other women, and even slept with one of them in our bed. When I confronted him, he said that I was the only woman for him, and he loved only me. With that said I surrendered, there was nothing left to talk about. An excerpt from Chapter 2 of The Struggle of Love:
Just when I thought I was getting over the lies Tim told me about being with Kathy, I found out that he had a four month old daughter by a another woman named Tracy. When I played it back in my head and did the math, it was obvious that she got pregnant when he was with me. I asked Tim about this woman having his child he said “when I slept with Tracy you and I weren’t even in love, we were just dating. We were not close like we are now. “Is it your child?” I asked. He snapped back, “No! I don’t know, and I don’t want to talk about it. I think she’s lying; she doesn’t know whose baby it is.” For some reason he didn’t want to continue talking about it. I loved him and even though Tim was probably lying to me again, a part of me still wanted to believe him. Tim said I was letting mess that I was hearing about him get the best of me, and he wanted me to stop listening to it because he loved me and no one could change that. He was so good at telling me what I wanted to hear, but his actions always said something else.